I wanted terribly fatty thick rich soup.  Bacon Beer Cheese soup.  But if I cooked that I’d have to atone with ten zillion salads or something, which would really nullify the coziness of the soup.  So I added a ton of broccoli and wild rice.  All better right?

Make it what you want.  This is what I did:
~3/4lb bacon chopped up and tossed to fry in the Dutch Oven.  If I had been thinking more clearly slab bacon would have been better.
– preheated oven to 350ish
– removed bacon chunks, and some of the bacon grease. (My quantity was reduced by the nibbling of a hungry husband and a sneaky kitty.  Next time I’m making a full pound of bacon.)
– 1 onion, 3 stalks celery, 4ish cloves garlic, chopped fine and tossed to sweat in the oil.
–  bunch of black pepper and good dash of salt.
~3T of flour (to make a rue) stirred in the oil and stuff.  Let cook until slightly toasty but not brown.
– 1 bottle of IPA beer, some mustard, some chicken broth (water and bouillon) Just enough liquid for the wild rice.
– 1 cup (well, just over, but whatever) of wild rice.  Got bubbly on the stove and then stuck in the oven.
– let simmer away in the oven for like 20-30min. Until rice is just tender.
– Put back on the stove on low.
– Add 1 pint of cream (or milk or whatever) and lots of cheese.  I used a mix of 1/2 lb shredded extra sharp cheddar and Velveeta (terrible I know, but whatever it melts like a dream).
– 3 bunches of broccoli chopped tiny and added as I went.  Tiny green bits everywhere!

Back in the oven for about another hour or so to get the broccoli all soft and tender and bring it back to a soupy consistency.
– Added more salt and a generous scoop of sugar (to offset a little too much broccoli bitterness)
– Stirred the bacon into the soup.

Turns out I think I overdid the healthy part.  It was yummy but not decadent.  Next time, more bacon!  More beer!  More cheese and cream!
It was also better the next day with a good squeeze of Sriracha and a dash of Tobasco.  I think the bit of heat and touch of vinegar made it significantly better.